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I Disagree With What You Say, And I Will Ruin You If You Say It.
By Smaktakula It's Hard To Look Dignified With A Ferret Humping Your Upper Lip. The town of Gainesville, Florida saw in deranged fucknugget Terry Jones a way not only to pusillanimously distance itself...
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Could You Be An Asshole? Truckbawlz
By Smaktakula If you’ve got a swingin’ pair of nuts hanging pendulously from your trailer hitch, then you most definitely are. Perhaps We Can Help: You Know, The Only Thing That Advertises Your Tiny...
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K-Fed, Serial Impregnator
By Smaktakula "I Have This Many Childrens Now!" Good Try, Kev--You Got A Little Closer That Time. Professional baby-daddy Kevin ‘K-Fed’ Federline has likely spawned his fifth child according to a...
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Marry Me, Stupid
By Smaktakula The Whitaker-Whitaker Wedding Was The Biggest Shindig Taint Junction Had Seen In Living Memory. The Kids Gorged Themselves On Mayonnaise-Fried Ho-Hos, While The Adults Stood Around...
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What Won’t Paula Deen Fry?
By Smaktakula Paula Enjoys A Delicious Snack Of Sugared Veal Fat Fried In Hog Oil. White trash TV personality Paula Deen thinks that if it’s worth eating, it’s worth eating fried. To Deen there exists...
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An Ode To Snooki
By Smaktakula Snooki's Not Wearing Leather; That's Her Skin. Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi’s time in the spotlight must soon come to an end. Her fifteen minutes of infamy draws inevitably to a close, as the...
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Stereotypes: What About The Good Ones?
By Smaktakula It's A Fact: Straight White Guys Dance Like Assholes. For as long as there have been different cultures, there have been cruel stereotypes about those cultures. In ancient times the...
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Preservin’ That Hillbilly Heritage
By Smaktakula Nobody Said Being A Parent Would Be Easy. In Fairness, Though--It Was Clearly Implied. We're Not Blaming Anyone, We're Just Saying That In A Very Real Way It's Your Fault. We totally get...
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Is Your Child Predisposed To Methamphetamine?
By Smaktakula If this is your high school senior portrait, then yes, he is: Cole And Ashley Are Quite Literally Cranking Them Out.
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Sad Thoughts: Remunerative Inequality
By Smaktakula Bummer: The wayward strumpets on MTV’s Teen Mom get paid a lot more than you do. This Child Is A Living Testament That, Given Enough Liquor, A Man Will Hump Just About Anything. “Have you...
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